Even a writer is not an island. Most of us mix with other writers, either out of want or necessity. However, unsupervised encounters between writers may result in unintended injuries – external and internal. So here are some suggested rules for harm minimisation when associating with fellow scribes.
- Don’t tell a writer suffering from writer’s block that you have never understood this concept, because for you writing is so effortless that you often feel like a medium through whom your characters speak.
- Don’t give your work to someone to read and say “enjoy”, even if personally you find your story highly entertaining.
- Don’t give your published (or unpublished) book as a birthday gift – even if you’re certain that mankind will be infinitely enriched by reading it.
- Don’t ask other writers when the book they’re writing will be published, unless you are prepared for an untimely death.
- Don’t email, tweet or facebook other writers (or anyone, for that matter) asking them to buy your book. And if you really must do so, don’t use CAPITAL LETTERS in your requests.
- Don’t ask writers more successful than you to refer you to their agent, at least not during the first decade of your acquaintance.
- While staying in a shared writers’ retreat, don’t suggest a night of readings, then go first, read half your novel, yawn, say you’ve had too much wine and go to bed.
- On that last point, when going to a writers’ retreat, don’t show up with bottles of wine and finish them all by yourself.
- Still at a retreat – don’t dominate the dinner conversation by discussing your dilemma of which publisher to choose out of the twelve fighting over your book.
- Don’t answer questions about your book by saying “You’ll have to read the book to find out”.
- Don’t tell memoirists that you find memoir writing self-indulgent.
- Don’t tell novelists that contemporary novels suck.
- Don’t tell poets anything. Of all creative species, poets live the shortest and most troubled lives – there is research to prove this. I must reinforce this point: tell poets nothing. Just listen. They need you.
Originally published at: http://writersvictoria.org.au/news-views/post/writers-social-etiquette/#sthash.VVVroqZx.dpuf
A great list, Lee. Can I add one more?
14. Don’t tell other writers you start writing each day at 9 am and stop when you have written 3000 words at 12 noon.
Dear Frank, this is a brilliant addition! I already feel inadequate after reading number 14 🙂 I’ll be lucky to produce 500 words in 3 hours…
Hilariously true Lee, esp the retreat tips!
Still savouring the Dangerous Bride.. your post reminds me to get a move on and finish it!
So how about
15. If a writer you know has read your latest book and not offered a single word of comment, not even the innane ‘Oh I really enjoyed it,’ don’t give them the cold shoulder at the next writer’s do, they might just be a slow reader.
Thank you, dearest Jan, both for the response and for reading my book! And I have absolutely no expectations, really, particularly that I myself a very odd reader. I buy books, then put them on a bookshelf and wait for some months (sometimes even years) till the right moment arrives for each book. And slow reading is best, just like slow cooking I think. xx
On that note, I am still reading your book also Lee! I don’t want to be in the category of read-it-and-never-said-a-word-about-it. 😉
Dearest Lucy, with everything that is going on in your life right now, I won’t be upset even if you finish it in 5 years time! x
Brilliant list Lee and I agree with every point.
Cheers
Callum
Thank you, dear Callum, and you’re one of the most comradely sort-of writers I know of.
Love the list Lee – gave me many laughs – I have done number 10 once or twice (wince) but never again now. As for ‘when will the book you’re writing be published?’, non-writers love to ask that one. It’s as if they can’t cope with the idea of an unpublished book- come to admit it – I find that idea hard to cope with too-better get cracking with my editing:)
Warren, thanks a lot and yes, I know how difficult it is for all of us, readers/writers to cope with the idea that a book may not get published. Your own book sounds fascinating (read about it on your Twitter profile), so I’m sure it’ll get published!
Fabulous list Lee, except I have to confess that I broke Number 3 by giving my newly self-published YA book to my great-aunt on her 100th birthday, which was most inappropriate unless you know my great-aunt! I promise not to break the other rules however 😉
Thanks a lot, dear Carolyn, and I must admit I broke rule 12 often! We’re all guilty… And I’m sure your aunt enjoyed your novel!